Come…Let me help you!!!..You need help!!!

I registered as a volunteer for the “Teach India” project initiated by Times of India on the third day of the scheme being launched. I really loved the spirit behind the project and was looking forward to being an active volunteer.

I was allotted as a volunteer to Kotak Education Fund. I attended the first meeting in July in which about 15 to 20 like minded people from various professions were present. We had all opted for volunteering on Sunday mornings. So here we were together under one roof. In the adjoining room were a bunch of young 16-17 years old both boys and girls who had scored above 80 % in the STD 10 board exams and had secured admission in various colleges in the vicinity.

The project was ‘mentoring’ and each one of us had to ‘mentor’ the students on a one-to-one basis. We were supposed to help them learn ‘spoken English’ thus helping them to face the outside world. The thought behind this project seemed to be noble…..to teach them conversational English thus bringing them at par with their counterparts in college. This would also help them to have a level playing field in the job market once they had graduated. I am sure the officials at KEC would have had a number of brain storming sessions before launching the project.

My mentee was a boy who had just passed Std 10 with 86% marks. He had secured admission in good college in Std 11 and I was supposed to help him speak English, discuss various career options and generally boost his morale.

The actual scene…..I had one introductory session with him on 20 July and then a session in the second week of August after which I have had no sessions with him. For reasons best know to the concerned people, no sessions were fixed until Sunday the 16 September when I received a message from KEF…'Dear mentor we hope to see you on Sunday at 9 AM. Your mentee will be waiting for you'. My enthusiasm had died by now. I had really wanted to do something for children who have the capability but do not have opportunities. I felt I had not contributed much in that direction.
Nevertheless, I felt responsible to keep up my commitment. I reached the KEF’s office at 9.15 to be informed that my ‘mentee’ had not yet come but had confirmed that he would be coming. I sat down and patiently waited for him. I picked up the previous day’s ‘Mumbai Mirror’ and started solving the sudoko (the number puzzle) At around 10, a volunteer of the KEF informed that my mentee was on his way and would reach any moment. Simultaneously another mentor who was waiting was informed that his mentee was ‘sick’ and so was not coming. I kept myself engrossed in the sudoko to keep me busy. By 10.40 I had solved the puzzle but my ‘mentee’ had still not reached. I approached the volunteer and informed her it would not be possible to wait any longer. I had waited for 90 minutes! Believe me she was more than relieved! One person less to deal with!! The poor girl was under so much stress….explaining her stand and also narrating the steps that she had taken to inform the mentees. A number of volunteers were still waiting when I left at 10.45.
While going back home a few thoughts came to my mind
Do we ask the person if he needs help or do we ‘assume’ that he needs help and that we know the best way to help?

Just having good intentions is not enough…

Count Your Blessings!!!

It was a lazy Sunday morning. I had decided to relax since I had had a hectic weekend.
But that was not to happen….My maid did not turn up…..No amount of coaxing her can motivate her enough to inform me about her absence in advance. I usually empathize with the maids. I always feel that emergencies may confront them just as they could to anyone else. But my maid never informs….even if it is a pre-planned leave…it is always made out to be an emergency by spinning a convincing story. I was ANGRY!!! My plans went phut..I wanted to chill and here I was without a maid and soiled utensils waiting to be washed!
I had no choice so I stomped into the kitchen and decided to start with washing.…I was still angry so the utensils were thrown and they clanked and cluttered. As I was performing my task, I started thinking….A few thoughts that came to my mind……
Thank GOD it is a Sunday so I’m at home. What if I had to come back from work and do this?
Thank GOD I have free flowing water in my tap. What if I had to wash with water filled in buckets?
Thank GOD I don’t have to do this on every Sunday.
Thank GOD I do not have guests today.
Thank GOD I am physically fit to perform the tasks

And I could have gone on and on counting my blessings…..Suddenly the frown disappeared and I was smiling and humming away a popular song and actually enjoying the task. I completed all the remaining jobs with a positive frame of mind.
The outcome of this was ...The job was done much better than what the maid would have done.

Parents' Let's Reflect!!!

A 10 year boy studying in Std 4 who is generally very vibrant and chirpy came to my room today. Surprisingly, he looked very listless and unhappy. He was also trying to hold back his tears. It seemed that he wanted to share something with me but was hesitant. I offered him a glass of water and gave him the choice to share his thoughts when he was comfortable.

After some deliberations, he shared that he was disappointed since he was not chosen to participate in the story telling session. His teacher had rejected him over the other three children in the selection round. He strongly felt that his story had a moral as per the requirements and that he also narrated the story with ‘good’ expressions. The boy was visibly upset and indignant at having been rejected in the elimination rounds. In his anxiety he spoke very fast and it took me some effort to understand what he wanted to convey.

In order to ease the situation, I asked him to narrate the story that was rejected. He willingly obliged and I appreciated his story, diction and expressions. I then asked his opinion about his ‘opponents’X, Y &Z. How had they fared? By now, he had regained a little bit of his original spirit. His eyes lit up and he said ‘Very good’

'So how many marks (out of 10) would YOU give them?'

He said he would give X and Y full marks (10/10) and Z would get 9/10.

'How many marks would you give yourself?'

He thought for a while and said 8/10. There was silence. I thought he was retrospecting.

Then he fumbled

‘I know they should have been selected, their stories were good and they said it well’ I’m OK with that but………….but what? I asked.

But my mother will be very angry…. He again thought for a while and said…she will be sad…she will feel v bad.

Why? I was taken aback. ….

Because she will say that I practiced so much but still I was not chosen. Why did I not say it well? She helped me to learn and my father selected the story. He will be VERY ANGRY.

All emotions had come back as he probably visualised the scene at home after he broke the 'sad' news. So what will you do? I asked? ‘I will not tell her that I am not chosen’ he replied promptly…in a tone indicating that that was the only obvious thing to do……. ‘I can’t tell her’ he reiterated shaking his head with lines of worry on his forehead.

But is that the right thing to do? I prodded. Instantly he said ‘No’ and shrugged his shoulders as if to say I know its not the best thing to do but do I have a choice?

It so happened that ultimately he did participate in the story telling session since they required one more student but I was left with a few thoughts.

1) Children can be very logical…when explained in a logical manner, they understand and accept even if the verdict is against them.
2) Children learn to speak lies in order to avoid unpleasent situations and continue to speak lies if they are successful in their venture.
3) Children do not want to disappoint their parents…..or do not want to face their criticisms or snide remarks for not meeting THEIR expectations or fulfilling THEIR desires.

All of us well meaning parents….We need to WAKE UP

Media Menace!!!

Two little girls around 10 years of age came to me this afternoon. In fact one of them had brought the other girl who looked very frightened and worried. Her eyes were red and swollen indicating that she had been crying for long. She was full of emotions and could hardly speak. Her friend informed me that she had been crying all morning because she was convinced that the world would be coming to an end tonight at 10 PM. She had watched the news report on a popular TV channel last night! A few other children joined us and animatedly started describing what was going to happen tonight. One boy with all his wisdom declared that the earth would have big black holes which would suck all of us. Another imaginative child announced that the universe would be destroyed because the sun would land on the earth. There were lots of comments and counter comments passing back and forth. The influence of visuals, the media and the dramatic performance of the anchor of the TV program was so strong that it took me quite a while to convince her that there was no truth in what she saw or heard on the TV. When I probed a little she expressed that she was worried because her father returned from office at 10 in the night and what would happen if the hole in the earth sucked him? The poor girl was so worried that she hadn’t been able to concentrate in class. I suggested that she could reach home and call her father and ask him to reach home before 10 tonight . She had probably not thought about this possibility and her face broke into a smile showing her cute dimples. There was relief on her face and she went to class. After an hour or so she came back smiling and said ‘Thank you miss I am feeling so nice and I am not feeling scared any more’

I genuinely believed that the media –especially the Television has created a revolution in India. It has reached most of the villages and even illiterate people in the cities were aware of the happenings in the different parts of the country and the world. My maid would discuss the day’s important happenings with me as soon as she arrived at my house. She would emphatically give her opinion on every issue, would sympathize with the flood victims and whole heartedly criticize the authorities for handling the situation inefficiently. All this was the result of TV watching.Since I am not an avid T.V watcher, very often I would be ignorant about what she was talking about and hence had to just nod my head in agreement with a few stray general remarks. But I did get the latest news update from her. As such, I was very impressed with the power of the television and thought that it was playing an important role in influencing and empowering the masses. I was sure that it would play a very important role in India’s progress until I came across this girl today……
I had also watched the story of the ‘World’s biggest experiment’ the BIG BANG on India TV, CNN yesterday…so I was aware of the hype but had definitely not believed the anchor who I must say was highly dramatic both in words and actions and was trying his level best to convince his viewers. ..I can’t say if he himself was really convinced or he was a good actor. However he had succeeded in influencing the little impressionable minds.
I would have remained convinced about the positive impact of the television had I not encountered this little girl today. I wonder how many negative thoughts must have crossed her little head!!! I hope her father acceded to her request. It would surely have reduced her agony.

OM !OM! OM!

OM …OM…OM…

I interact with children ages 8 to14 as a part of my job

A boy studying in class 4 (around 10 years) seemed to be angry all the time. He was huge… much taller and heavier than his class mates. That also made him stronger than the rest of the class. He often got teased by his peers and that obviously made him angry. Since he scored over his peers in terms of his strength, he would get even with them by harming the little ones physically. Depending on his mood, he would either catch the child by his collar and bang his head against the wall or just lift a child and drop him down. The ‘culprit’ may have laughed at his awkward way of running during the games period or just refused to include him in the football team!!!Efforts to make him realize that the consequences of his actions could be fatal were futile.
After one such incident, he was sent to my room along with the little girl who was crying inconsolably…..she looked scared and shocked ….I’m not sure which feeling was more pronounced. She had laughed at him when he fell off from the slide while playing in the garden and he had twisted her hand to get even!!!
I thought he looked guilty…perhaps he was feeling bad since the girl was crying continuously interspersed with ‘See my hand it is so red it is paining he beat me etc etc’
Probably he realized that he had used his strength disproportionately on her delicate hands. He confessed that he had not imagined that the consequences would be so grave. In that vulnerable moment, he expressed that he usually lost control when he was angry and that he wanted to become ‘good’ Could I help him? I was not expecting this. Nevertheless I was impressed but I must confess that I was at a loss as to how I could help him since it was not my arena. I quickly thought about the strategies (to shoo away the anger) that I had given to my own children when they were young. All this while the boy and the little girl were looking at me expectantly…..
Then I came up with an idea and told him with all my wisdom ‘Whenever you are angry, clench your fist and say Om, Om, Om three times in your mind. Your anger will slowly go away’. I just could not think of anything else. He seemed to like the idea and went away with a promise to follow the strategy in future. The little girl had also stopped crying by then and she too seemed to approve of this idea. I also felt happy at having disposed of the matter successfully (I thought)
A few days later when I .chanced to pass by his class I noticed that a boy had opened my hero’s pencil box and scattered his pencils all over the place. He was very ANGRY!!. I waited with bated breathe and watched expectantly…what would he do?
He got up from his place, stomped to the centre of the class, clenched his fists and screamed loudly three times OM, OM, OM.There was pin drop silence in the class. A few boys hurriedly picked up the pencils and put them back in his box. The timid ones were taken aback with his roaring voice and were quietly scared. He went back in a huff and sat down on his seat seemingly satisfied with his performance.
He had followed my strategy!!! At least he had not physically harmed anyone I thought to myself.Every time I think of this incident, I cannot but help laughing loudly

Grab every opportunity

Last year I was asked to attend a workshop on ‘AIDS AWARENESS’. It was not a part of my work profile so as a normal expected behaviour I protested.
‘Why should I know about AIDS?’ ‘Once I attend this workshop, I will be asked to take sessions for students and maybe teachers also’ ‘I will be detracting from my core profession of being a special educator’ and many more such thoughts came to my mind. I also voiced a few of these thoughts to the authorities but they went unheard and ultimately I had to attend the two day workshop. So I went for the first session in protest.
This was being conducted by the Maharashtra Aids Society and was a well planned and informative session. As the session proceeded, I learnt so many new things…it was an eye opener. We always think and believe that a particular issue does not concern us. We do not know anyone who is suffering from AIDS, what can I do about it etc, etc

But believe me after attending the session I learnt a lot and understood the gravity of the situation in India. I felt responsible for spreading awareness among teenagers (since I had access to them) who could become victims due to lack of awareness about AIDS. Surely we conducted AIDS awareness programs for teachers and students of high school(I volunteered to do it!!). Many young students came up with many valid questions and I was happy that I could satisfy their curiosity. Before attending the workshop,I was inhibited to talk about sex or any related topics openly. In fact I had never spoken about this to my own children when they were small.Fortunately they were science students and probably managed to gain information from their own sources. And here was me explaining facts to students without a shade of embarassment. I had surely benefitted.
But the most important lesson that I learnt from this ….Everything that we learn in life is never a waste. GRAB every opportunity to learn and make the most of it.

Speak Up for a Clean Mumbai!

My friends say that I am a very calm and patient person and I agree with them! But whenever I see someone littering the roads by spitting or throwing empty bottles, wrappers etc, I feel outraged. .In spite of a strong desire to do something about this, nine out of ten times I let it go without a reaction because we have been brought up to believe that in Mumbai people are supposed to mind their own business.

I was traveling in an auto rickshaw from Bandra Hill Road to Bandra Station. Although it is a short stretch , it is generally jam packed and the vehicles move at a slow speed waiting for the signal to turn green. While I was also waiting thus, I noticed a car just in front of me (I don’t remember the make but it was a big car) full of a bunch of young college boys talking in loud voices and generally having fun, Suddenly one of them lowered the glass of the window and threw three empty Pepsi bottles and wrappers of lays, biscuits etc out of the window. The meek or the complacent part of me asked me to ignore what I had seen but the other side of me coaxed me to act…..and act I did before the signal could turn green.
I asked the auto rickshaw driver to go ahead so that we were besides the car. The poor fellow managed to skillfully dodge through the vehicles. I knocked at the window of the car. The boy who had thrown the stuff ignored me. I don’t know if I am right but I thought that he looked guilty and probably did not like the expression on my face and guessed the reason for my knocking the window. However, his friends coaxed him to open the window after I tapped the second time. I tried to remain as calm as I could and simply asked ‘Is this the place to throw this garbage?’ The boy hurriedly apologized and pulled up his window after which I noticed that there was pin drop silence in the car. The boys who were enjoying themselves just a few moments ago were absolutely quiet. Just then the signal turned green and we were off on our respective routes.
That was all that I could do. But when I sit back to think of the repercussions that this incident would have had, I can say that all boys in the car will definitely think twice before littering in a public place the next time . Then the people who witnessed the incident (especially the auto rickshaw driver, the driver of the car, few people walking on the road etc) also learnt a lesson incidentally.
I appeal to all those who read my blog “Please speak up!!!Let’s have a clean Mumbai”

In the shoes of a Learning Disabled Child!!!

I have nurtured this desire to learn some form of music someday. But in the rat race of the daily routine never really got even near to do anything with music except maybe listen to FM Radio. A friend started learning the key board and that kindled a desire in me to follow suit. Peer pressure u see!!!

I have no clue about the language of music. I was introduced to the Notes. Chords, Major and Minor notes etc. I was very enthusiastic in the first few sessions but as the difficulty level increased all seemed like Latin and Greek . I was thoroughly confused and in one session I could not understand the new concept that was being introduced but was hesitant to ask for clarification. Although the teacher was very kind and encouraging, I started feeling a kind of failure. I felt everyone around me was much better than me. My classmate, a six year old boy could play the notes so effortlessly and here was I putting in so much efforts without getting the desired results. Friends, the negative tape in my mind started sending the messages “I can NEVER learn this” “Music is not my cup of tea” “I am no good” etc etc. My keyboard was not the right model since it did not have the chords. Hence I had to just sit and do nothing in one session. The teacher asked me to practice what was taught earlier and wanted me to buy a specific key board to be with the class. On that day I really felt like a child who has forgotten to get his text book or his craft material to class! I actually started having thoughts of giving up.

A truth that I already knew dawned more clearly on me .I could visualize a child with learning difficulties experiencing exactly the same feelings that I was going through…I had nothing at stake…no tests, no exams, nobody shouting or reprimanding me for my failures and still….I was feeling so low about myself.
Imagine what the child who has so much at stake….so many people to please…parents, grandparents, teachers, tuition teachers etc, etc must be going through when he is unable to do things the way his peers are able to do. He has never tasted success in his academics. He is confused as to why he is not able to do things that his friends can do so effortlessly. His little head is always worried about how he could score better in his tests so that he could make the significant people in his life happy and so many other thoughts!!!

I always felt I could empathize with the child and understand what he is going through…..but this experience has actually put me in the shoes of someone who is overwhelmed with new things to learn….and this has made me realize first hand what a child would actually be going through…

Mentoring at Teach India

I thought it was very important to share my experience as a mentor to a student of std 11.To give you a very brief background, the boy who is my mentee has secured 86% in the SSC exams and has also managed to secure admission in a reasonably good college in the science stream.

He is an intelligent and bright boy and hence does not need to be taught any study skills.In fact he can teach these to us!!!What he requires was self confidence and that could be increased if he could speak fluent English so as to be at par with his peers in college. So together we set our goal

'To speak fluent English' by the end of the academic year.

Armed with this, I asked him to write about his first day in college. He wrote about half a page. Taking this as a base, I drew his attention to the importance of maintaining the same 'tense' throughout the piece of written work. We discussed a few examples and then he started correcting his work. He is a bright child and grasped well. In a few instances he has used wrong words to express e.g has written.The teacher came to 'learn' the poem in the English period instead of 'teach'.So I explained the relationship between 'teacher' and 'teach' and explained the concept of root words.

Then we spoke about adjectives and how use of adjectives enhances the quality of the written work. We discussed a lot of examples of use of appropriate adjectives and also learnt the meaning of a few new words. As he learnt newer things I could see his expression change.....He wanted to continue to learn more but I had to get back to my commitments.I am convinced that I shall be able to make a difference in this child's life!!!!

General Gyan Startup!

Hi Friends!

My daughter has conned me into starting a blog...It is her latest obsession!!!!! She has dragged me into it. She insists that I advertise her blogs here..... Friends her blogs may be more interesting than mine at this point of time but be sure I shall conquer one day............

After all I am a teacher.....will have some intersteing tips on teaching and stories to post on the blog!

More later!

In the meanwhile dont forget to view her blogs!

http://shilpasehgal.blogspot.com/
http://kef-teach-india.blogspot.com/